calikalie:

KAREN: Let me ask you, did you accomplish what you wanted?
DWIGHT: Listen, lady, you can expect these kind of repercussions as long as you keep trying to poach our people.
KAREN: I’m taking Stanley.
DWIGHT: Then we will burn Utica to the ground.
MICHAEL: Dwight. Granted, maybe this was not the best idea, but at least we care enough about our employees that we are willing to fight for them. And if you so much as harm a hair on Stanley’s head, we will burn Utica to the ground.

The Office, 4x06 Branch Wars

falulatonks:downtheapples: labeledbones:

From the shooting draft of “Email Surveillance.”

Aw.

calikalie:

PAM: I knew it.
JIM: You did not know it.
PAM: I knew some of it.
JIM: Everyone knew some of it.
PAM: It’s Christmas.
JIM: You knew it.
PAM: Thank you. I knew it.
JIM: She knew it.

The Office, 5x10 Moroccan Christmas

brothersport / carefulpatterns

paper-flowers:

(via calikalie)

♥♥♥

WHY DON’T I REMEMBER THIS?

duemilaquarantasei:

— The Office (5x23)

calikalie:

MICHAEL: I’d like everybody’s attention. Christmas is canceled.
STANLEY: You can’t cancel a holiday.
MICHAEL: Keep it up, Stanley, and you will lose New Year’s.
STANLEY: What does that mean?
MICHAEL: Jim, take New Year’s away from Stanley.
PAM: Michael, what’s going on?
MICHAEL: Carol and I split up. Amicably. And I just don’t think it would be appropriate to celebrate under the circumstances.
JIM: Will they still air “Rudolph”?

The Office, 3x10 A Benihana Christmas

(via fuckyeahoffice)

heartwarming / lonelytourist

brothersport / yourfavoriteredhead

calikalie:

JIM: [taps Bluetooth earpiece] Pam, sorry about that. Lost you for a second. So, as it turns out, I may not have done so hot on my customer reviews this year.
PAM: Maybe it’s because you spent the whole year flirting with the receptionist.
JIM: A little bit. Worth it.

The Office, 5x06 Customer Survey

calikalie:

MICHAEL: Uh-oh, what’s Dwight gonna get? What is it?
DWIGHT: [unwraps gift] Yes!
MICHAEL: Oh, yes! It’s space garbage. Dwight’s gonna be able to build himself a friend. [singing] Deck the halls with crappy gifts…
PHYLLIS: Stanley, ho, ho, ho! You’ve been very good this year.
STANLEY: I have?
MICHAEL: Yeah, except for cheating on your wife. Adultery is a sin. Look it up in the Bible, people. What did you get?
KEVIN: He got scented candles.
MICHAEL: Oh, well that’s appropriate. Lot of fire where you’re going. Better get used to it. You’re going to H-E-L-L-double hockey sticks. You’re going to Hell, Stanley.
ANGELA: Amen.
PHYLLIS: [to Angela, handing her a gift] And this brings us to you, little one.
MICHAEL: I can’t see from here, people. Somebody shout it out. Don’t make me get up.
ANGELA: It’s fabric! I really wanted this.
MICHAEL: That’s fantastic. You can make another dress that goes past your feet.

The Office, 6x12 Secret Santa