daynawashere / nothingbuttherain

Ted: I know you don’t like to eat children, but it’s that kind of talk and your cottage in the woods made of candy that keeps those rumors alive.

dallowayward / lightanddark

Linda: You can’t base a community on made-up personalities. That’s like high school! Only no one’s on drugs and everyone’s trying to get pregnant.
Veronica: The druggie teen slut is right, Ted.
Linda: Hey!
Veronica: I said you were right.

Better Off Ted, 1x07 Get Happy

Veronica: You’re always welcome here, daughter of Ted.
Ted: Rose.
Veronica: I know her name.
Ted: Rose’s name.
Veronica: You know, sweetheart, sometimes your father-
Rose: Ted.
Veronica: I know everyone’s name!

Better Off Ted, 1x03 Through Rose Colored Hazmat Suits

Veronica: I know what it’s like to see the ugly face of discrimination.
Lem: You do?
Veronica: Yes. I do. When I was sixteen I was 5 foot 9 and stunning. I mean off the charts gorgeous. At school I was like a swan among ugly ducklings. All the other girls hated me and… like our light sensors are doing to you, totally ignored me. If it wasn’t for the modeling contracts and the comfort of college boys I don’t know if I would have made it.
Phil: Wow. I had no idea.
Veronica: No. How could you? You’re still not 5 foot 9.
Phil: Thank you.

Better Off Ted, 1x04 Racial Sensitivity

lightanddark

TOBIAS: And secondably, I know you’re the big “marriage expert”. Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot. Your wife is dead!

fujiidom / charethcutestory

Tobias: We’ve had some great times.