Claire: You know, so many people just never get passed the divorce. They just stay bitter and twisted for the rest of their lives. [to Maryann] You know what I mean?
[long pause]
Maryann: I believe… one should definitely stay close to one’s ex. That way one is sure to get off a clean shot.

- Cybill, 4x17 Oh Brother!

Maddie: I am not your partner! I am not his partner. I don’t know this man. I don’t like this man. I would greatly appreciate it if you would lock this man up!
David: Now we’re not gonna hold that against her, are we, Joe? The woman’s been under a lot of stress. Look at that lower back: tense, tight… kinda nice though, huh?

Moonlighting, 1x01 Pilot

Cybill, 3x14 Little Bo Peep

Maryann: It’s terrible how some women can’t let go after a divorce. They just get obsessed and do the craziest things.
Cybill: [looks at a picture on Maryann’s desk] What’s his name?
Maryann: Dick Thorpe.
Cybill: Dr. Dick, huh?
[they both laugh]
Maryann: That’s funny. Of course I could never call him that. That would really make him mad.

- Cybill, 3x15 In Her Dreams

(via charadesninja)

Maryann: My poor little Zoey is out there about to get her heart broken!
Cybill: Maryann, she’s my daughter too!

Maryann: What, do you have eyes at the back of your head?
Cybill: Yep.
Maryann: Okay, what am I holding?
Cybill: Martini.
Maryann: … Amazing!

- Cybill, 4x05 Like Family

Zoey: HOW DARE YOU READ MY DIARY?
Cybill: I would never read your diary! All I did was email it to a porno producer by accident and they made a movie out of it!

- Cybill, 3x06 Cybill Does Diary

Cybill: I’m so nervous that I’m meeting the president of my fan club. I don’t know how to act!
Maryann: Cybill, she doesn’t know that. That’s why she’s a fan.

- Cybill, 4x09 How to Get a Head in Show Business

Maryann: Well, she said changing the subject in that whimsical way of hers, I’m having Valentine’s dinner with my son.
Rachel: Justin’s in town? God, I haven’t seen him in like forever.
Maryann: He’s flying in this afternoon and tonight I’m introducing him to the new man in my life.
Rachel: So this is a big event for you!
Maryann: Huge! I haven’t seen Justin since Thanksgiving in Buffalo. What if he and Richard don’t get along and he decides not to come home again for another three years? Will I be forced to choose? Am I a mother, am I a woman? DAMN IT, I’M BOTH! WHY MUST I BE PUNISHED? IF I’M GUILTY OF ANYTHING IT’S OF LOVING TOO MUCH!
Cybill: Well… that was very disturbing.

- Cybill, 3x16 Valentine’s Day