Craig: No, that’s not an old wrinkled hand. It’s a lovely hand.
Julie Andrews: You may kiss it.
Craig: Thank you. Eh… are we still talking about your hand?
Jimmy: Everybody before we get started I have something to say to our late night competition over at CBS, Craig Ferguson. Last night Craig waved a Mickey Mouse hand at me and asked me to wave one back at him tonight. Let me tell you something buddy, this is how a late night war starts. No one can just tell me what to do, okay I’m Jimmy Fallon, okay. Don’t make me break up with you. *Waves* He’s a good dude, I love that guy.
Craig: Oh hey! How about that, hey! Hold on. Hi Jimmy! Hi! Hi Jimmy Fallon! Hey thanks man, thanks!
Craig: What made you decide to work with the salvation army?
Betty: Well Craig I love bells…there’s nothing like the feeling of a big pair of bells in my hand.
Craig: I think I should let that one go. It must feel good to help people though.
Betty: Not really, I needed some cash. I spent all my money on medical bills.
Craig: Betty, I didn’t know you were having medical issues.
Betty: Oh, I’m fine. It’s just my medical marijuana bills. They think I have glaucoma, but I just throw some crazy ass parties.
Betty: If you have a spare $20 this year, do the right thing…buy my movie The Proposal on DVD. Betty White’s gotta eat!