daynawashere / nothingbuttherain
Ted: I know you don’t like to eat children, but it’s that kind of talk and your cottage in the woods made of candy that keeps those rumors alive.
Linda: You can’t base a community on made-up personalities. That’s like high school! Only no one’s on drugs and everyone’s trying to get pregnant.
Veronica: The druggie teen slut is right, Ted.
Linda: Hey!
Veronica: I said you were right.
Better Off Ted, 1x07 Get Happy
Linda: You love rules. You should marry a rule. And have little rule children. Then build a house made of rules.
Ted: You mean a house made of my own children?
Linda: That’s between you and your conscience.
Better Off Ted, 1x06 Goodbye, Mr. Chips
Better Off Ted summary: Ted (Jay Harrington) is the morally conscious Head of Research & Development (a legend, really) at Veridian Dynamics, a morally questionable corporation. Ted is the ultimate team leader and puts people first while his power-hair-donning boss, Veronica (Portia De Rossi), puts people last. For Ted and his trusty team of scientists led by Phil (Jonathan Slavin) and Lem (Malcolm Barrett), no invention is too unorthodox. Linda (Andrea Anders), Ted’s feisty and flirtatious Research Analyst, is partly responsible for him taking a closer look at the company’s extremely questionable practices… Especially when asked to cryogenically freeze one of his scientists.
Season 01
1x01 1x02 1x03 1x04 1x05 1x06 1x07 1x08 1x09 1x10 1x11 1x12 1x13
Season 02
2x01 2x02 2x03 2x04 2x05 2x06 2x07 2x08 2x09 2x10 2x11 2x12 2x13
Veronica: You’re always welcome here, daughter of Ted.
Ted: Rose.
Veronica: I know her name.
Ted: Rose’s name.
Veronica: You know, sweetheart, sometimes your father-
Rose: Ted.
Veronica: I know everyone’s name!
Better Off Ted, 1x03 Through Rose Colored Hazmat Suits
Phil: Lem, you ever get the feeling that ooplasm cultures are looking up at you, worshiping you like a vengeful God?
Lem: No. Cytoplasm cultures sometimes, but never ooplasm.
Phil: Sometimes you are a complete stranger to me.
Better Off Ted, 1x04 Racial Sensitivity
Linda: I gotta go meet Don at the “Who Cares What People Think” cafe. Where if someone sees something that they want they just have it. And it’s the best thing they’ve ever had. Because that meal’s been practicing yoga for seven years. In case you missed it, by that meal I mean me. I’m bad at metaphors… but I’m great at sex.
Better Off Ted, 1x03 Through Rose Colored Hazmat Suits
