• "The first time I met my co-star was __________"
  • Jesse: The first time I met Aziz was, um, was on this movie, we never met before. The first time I met Nick Swardson--
  • Aziz: You don't understand how fill-in-the-blank works?
  • Jesse: What is it?
  • Aziz: You're changing everything!
  • Jesse: What did I do different?
  • Aziz: You gotta just say the one--you say "the first time I met my co-star is" and then fill in the blank. You don't say, "The first time I met Aziz was blah blah," you said my name, that's not part of the sentence, and then you start talking about Swardson for no reason?!
  • Jesse: The girl who asked me the question, I know her. And she likes me to answer that way.



Comedy Night Done Right All Night

Comedy Night Done Right All Night

Posted 1 year ago , with 3,019 notes






The Office Genderswap suggested by shanslat and two anons
Amy Poehler as M. Scott Rachel Dratch as D. Schrute Rashida Jones as J. Halpert Zachary Levi as P. Beesly/Halpert Alison Brie as R. Howard Aziz Ansari as K. Kapoor Neil Patrick Harris as A. Martin Kristin Chenoweth as A. Bernard Elaine Stritch as C. Bratton

The Office Genderswap suggested by shanslat and two anons

Amy Poehler as M. Scott
Rachel Dratch as D. Schrute
Rashida Jones as J. Halpert
Zachary Levi as P. Beesly/Halpert
Alison Brie as R. Howard
Aziz Ansari as K. Kapoor
Neil Patrick Harris as A. Martin
Kristin Chenoweth as A. Bernard
Elaine Stritch as C. Bratton
Posted 2 years ago , with 293 notes



pikitis / heathicorn / liveitout

Every now and then, we have these little gatherings, and Leslie gets plastered. One time, I convinced her to try to fax someone a Fruit Roll Up. She, one time, made out with the water delivery guy, in her office. On Halloween, she was dressed up as Batman. Not Batgirl; Batman. And I convinced her to go stop a crime that was going on outside. And it is my favorite thing in the world.
 Parks & Recreation - 1.01 Pilot

pikitisheathicorn / liveitout

Every now and then, we have these little gatherings, and Leslie gets plastered. One time, I convinced her to try to fax someone a Fruit Roll Up. She, one time, made out with the water delivery guy, in her office. On Halloween, she was dressed up as Batman. Not Batgirl; Batman. And I convinced her to go stop a crime that was going on outside. And it is my favorite thing in the world.

Parks & Recreation - 1.01 Pilot






Leslie: Well, one of the funner things that we do here in Pawnee is the annual Easter egg hunt. Tom hides the eggs, and I have to say, he did and exceptional job this year. I’ve been searching for 25 minutes and I haven’t found a single egg. And I’m an adult. Tom: Oh. Yeah, I forgot to do that. Leslie: Maybe Tom is trying to make this year a challenge. And if so, he’s… he’s succeeding. I don’t think a single egg has been found yet! [to a little girl] Let’s keep looking, we’re gonna find one. [Tom shakes his head.] - Parks and Recreation, 1x02 Canvassing

Leslie: Well, one of the funner things that we do here in Pawnee is the annual Easter egg hunt. Tom hides the eggs, and I have to say, he did and exceptional job this year. I’ve been searching for 25 minutes and I haven’t found a single egg. And I’m an adult.
Tom: Oh. Yeah, I forgot to do that.
Leslie: Maybe Tom is trying to make this year a challenge. And if so, he’s… he’s succeeding. I don’t think a single egg has been found yet! [to a little girl] Let’s keep looking, we’re gonna find one. [Tom shakes his head.] 

- Parks and Recreation, 1x02 Canvassing

Posted 2 years ago , with 99 notes



rainydaywomen:


Leslie: No, I always write my own name. But, just to be safe I do add 20 extra  Jerrys.

Parks and Recreation, 2x19 Park Safety

rainydaywomen:

Leslie: No, I always write my own name. But, just to be safe I do add 20 extra Jerrys.

Parks and Recreation, 2x19 Park Safety

Posted 2 years ago



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