fuckyeahsnl / almostaslug:

Tina: Well, because our host, Reverend Al Sharpton, is an active presidential candidate, a number of NBC affiliates around the country are refusing to air tonight’s show, for fear that other candidates will demand equal time.  Since our show isn’t being seen in these cities, we can finally say whatever we want about… Des Moines, Iowa.
Jimmy: Snoozeville, U.S.A.!
Tina: Sacramento, California.
Jimmy: More like, Suck-romento!
Tina: Portland, Maine.
Jimmy: The fart capital of the world! 
Tina: Memphis and Nashville, Tennessee.
Jimmy: Y’all come back, now ya’ queers! 
Tina: Oklahoma.
Jimmy : Never heard of it.
Tina: Boston
Jimmy: Well… they… 
Together: …just hate black people. 
Tina: And, finally - Rochester, Minnesota.
Jimmy: Nerds! 
Tina: You guys are -
Together: NERDS!!!
Don Pardo [voiceover]: You’ve been watching “Jimmy & Tina Yelling At Cities That Refuse To Show Saturday Night Live Tonight.” This is Don Pardo saying, “Suck it, Des Moines!”